I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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