I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
