11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
