so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
