My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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