i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
