I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
