Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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