Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize