my mouth tastes like poor choices
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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