Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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