Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
