Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he shaved USA in his pubs
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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