I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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