if you like me you must not know who I am
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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