Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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