she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
