Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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