Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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