Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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