I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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