I must be too annoying 4 u.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
