SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize