Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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