It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
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Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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