Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
