I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
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