you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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