She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
we should paint friendship bongs
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