Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
