My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
