i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
