Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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