I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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