between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
