Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
