There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize