whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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