Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
