I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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