He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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