did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
