i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
