Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
