Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
