Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
