so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i will never coherently bang her
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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