is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
