remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize