Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
