let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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