so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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