Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Randomize
