i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
can u get pink eye on your cock?
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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