Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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