you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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