When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
