What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
