How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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