There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
